Time

Time. How do you understand something so intangible? It's a measurement. A measurement we created simply so we know when to be somewhere. But what is it really when you think about it? A word. Time is just a word. But sometimes a word makes all the difference. A week. A week is all I had in Nicaragua. In that week, I fell in love, I taught, I learned, I changed. Six months. I had six months to raise $2500 and complete 6 hours of community service. Three months. Three months until I board the plane. Three weeks. I will have three weeks in Cambodia.

That is my biggest fear for my trip, time. I've now raised all the money I need and I've completed my community service, neither of which was easy. I worked to get to a place where I can say everything is set for me to leave for Cambodia. Now that I'm finally at that place, I'm beyond excited, but nerves are setting in as well. Will I forget the khmer I know when I actually have to speak it? Will I be able to execute my lesson plans properly? With this amazing opportunity comes a seemingly infinite number of ways to mess up as well. With Team Nicaragua leaving in less than a month, all sorts of memories are resurfacing. My last day in Nicaragua is one I will never forget. All the hugs, all the tears, they were all caused by time. I only had a week in Nicaragua, and that was not enough time for me, no amount of time would ever have been enough. I may have a full three weeks in Cambodia, but my biggest fear is that I will still not be satisfied. I'm scared for when I will have to say goodbye. As irrational and useless as it is, I am simply scared of time.

How do you avoid time? You can't. But what you can do is take advantage of every second you have within the given time. I may only have three weeks, but those are going to be the best three weeks of my life. My biggest goal for Cambodia is to seize every moment I have with the kids. I may not be able to stop the sun in the sky, but I can make every second count that the sun is up. I will not think about the last day. I will not think about the pain I will feel when I have to say goodbye. I will think of today, and today only. If I make every second count, maybe, just maybe, I will have enough time.