"And who can say if I've been changed for better or for worse, but because of you I've been changed for good."

The sun has risen and set, the day has come and gone, and with it the trip of a life time. Working with the students and teachers at Escuela Especial has changed how I will look at things forever. What I taught the students about math and spelling is important, but what they taught me is far better. I always thought people were over exaggerating when they said the kids on the trip were like family, but I realize now that it is nothing short of the truth.

Every single student at Escuela Especial has changed my life forever. One of the most important lessons the students have taught me is that it's the little things in life that matter. I've gotten to witness so many of the "little things" this week that I am thrilled to have experienced. One of my favorite and most recent moments was with a middle school girl in Auxililladora's class. Her name is Mercedes, but she always wrote it as "Mecebes". The previous CGA kids who had been in Auxililladora's class all said to keep working with her on her d's, but not to get frustrated if she didn't get it because she really struggled with it. Sure enough, I arrived in Auxililladora's class Thursday morning to see "Mercebes" written in big letters on the top of her paper.

For nearly two hours I sat next to Mercedes, explaining and demonstrating all the possible ways to write a d. For 1 1/2 of the two hours there were still b's written all over her paper. I was almost ready to move on to writing neater r's when I thought of the last possible way to write a d. First I demonstrated 3-5 times. I then gave her the pencil and helped guide her hand to make the right motions several times as well. Then with fingers crossed, I handed her the pencil. I watched as she slowly drew a small circle and a line on the right hand side. It wasn't all that pretty of a d, but in that moment it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. "Muy bien Mercedes! Es correcto!" I said excitedly. She stared at the letter she had drawn for several seconds before jumping out of her chair and giving me what felt like a 10 minute hug. I watched as she filled her page with the letter d and the name Mercedes until lunch, and I can't remember a time I felt more proud of anyone or anything.

I will arrive back in Vail on Sunday, but I will not be the same person I was a week ago. I wear the same face as the girl who left, but a face is merely a mask. No amount of time nor any number of miles can ever sever the bond between me and the people at Escuela Especial. When I get on the plane Sunday morning, I will only have half a heart. I am leaving the other half with these kids and I wouldn't have it any other way. They may forget my name after I leave the same way I might forget some of theirs, but I will always remember the smile on their faces, their arms wrapped around me, and their fingers laced in mine. These kids have taught me that these trips are all about leaving part of yourself with them to hold on to and remember when times are hard, and that's exactly what I intend to do. So I'll come home with half my heart, but the lessons and love the students at Escuela Especial have given me will make that half stronger than my full heart ever was.

Freezing Time

Nicaragua has been one of the best experiences of my life already. I wake up every day excited and happy to see what the day will bring. Yesterday brought me the chance to work with Ms.Nora's three students with autism. Royner, Rachell, and Evert are three 7-8 year olds with an unbelievable amount of energy and personality. Rachell is the sweet and sassy at the same time, so she has the ability to steal your heart and completely rule the room at the same time. She was actually intimidating at first, but once I found that her secret weakness was her ticklish stomach, she became an adorable little girl that I absolutely love. Royner just wants hugs and high fives, and is one of the kindest little boys I know, despite the fact he likes to throw sticks. Evert is one of the smartest students I've worked with so far. He doesn't like to do much other than math, but count to 100 with him and he'll be jumping up and down with glee. Royner was the only one that opened up right away, but a simple counting game with Evert and pushing Rachell on the swings was all it took to become close with the other two of Ms.Nora's students.

Today I got to go on another set of home visits before going to Escuela Especial. This time I met Carmen, Anthony, and Matthew. I lucked out again with 2 out of the 3 children living in fairly good conditions. Carmen is a little 4-month-old girl with cheeks twice as big as her head. She lives with a mother that is disabled, her aunt, her uncle, and her grandma. Carmen's mom is only 17, so she doesn't take as good of care of her as she needs to even though she loves Carmen. Anthony and Matthew are both very loved at home, all though Anthony is mainly taken care of by is grandmother. Both boys live with many relatives.

This set of home visits made me very sad because I realized it was my last few on the trip. It is hard to believe that Wednesday is already here. The thought of leaving is enough to bring tears to my eyes. Tomorrow is my last day teaching the kids before we have a party with all of them on Friday, which means I only have two days left with the students. This trip is going by way too fast and I'm finding myself dreading the end of each day more and more. I love all of these kids so much and I'm starting to understand why CGA volunteers tend to want to return to the countries they have already been too. I wanted time to tick faster before I arrived, but now I wish time would freeze entirely. I don't know what the next two days will bring, but whatever they do, it needs to be savored and cherished. I only get this opportunity once, there's no time for me to give anything less than 100%.

Audios to Day One

I woke up on Saturday both the most excited and most nervous I can ever remember being. I woke up on Sunday nervous and happy. And now I’m sitting here more amazed than I’ve ever been in my life.

I don’t know what I was expecting when the kids pulled up in the van, but whatever it was, it wasn’t what I got. The second the first van arrived I had arms wrapped around me and tiny little fingers laced in mine. As could be expected there were some shy students that didn’t open up right away, but I was shocked at how many of the kids weren’t shy at all.

Once all of the students were in their classes and the greeting was over, I headed down to Ms.Rosa’s first grade classroom. At first I didn’t know exactly what to do. There were 8 students and a teacher all speaking Spanish faster than I would have ever been able to follow and not a translator to be seen. I tried my best to answer all of the teacher’s questions, but many times they had to repeat themselves. 

After about half an hour of this, I remembered the phrase that probably saved today from being a total disaster, “Despeacio por favor.” The phrase simply means “slow down please,” but once I started using it I realized I really did understand the majority of what I was being asked to do.  I was able to help the teacher, Ms.Rosa, grade the students homework, then I was able to work one on one with three or four of the students. 

I worked a lot with a little girl named Odili. She is very smart and very sweet. She was barely willing to tell me her name she was so shy, but by lunch her little fingers were laced with mine as she pulled my toward the cafeteria. I worked more with Odili when we got back from lunch, but I also worked with her twin sister Alicia and two other little girls, Natalie and Susan. I helped them write their cursive vowels until the final bell rang. 

I walked out of the classroom with children still hugging me. One by one they all climbed into the van and waved as they drove off. Today was my first day at Escuela Especial, but I already have made memories I will never forget. 

My day got even better when I got into the car to go to the homes I would be visiting with Natalie, Ella, Whitney, and our translator Eletta. We visited three homes and were lucky enough that all three were in surprisingly good situations. We met Angelica Maria Orteez, Steven, and Carlos. All three are loved and cherished in their homes and are three of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. We were welcomed with open arms into their homes and they willingly told us any details about their past that we asked for.

I can’t wait to see them all again on Friday at the party and I can’t wait to help in Ms.Nora’s class for autism tomorrow. Any doubts or fears I had are vanishing before my eyes as the trip is finally beginning, and I’m loving every second I’m spending with these kids.